The Hardest Part.

The hardest part, for most of us anyway, is believing that you’re worth the time.  I could be wrong about this, but one of the few things about which I feel certain these days is that we tend to come up short when it comes to self-compassion.  Such a thing doesn’t have to extend into self-hatred or even negative self-talk (though it does for the bulk of us), but it does include the inability to place value on one’s self.  

Uncluttering Your Life, below, sheds light on how this manifests for many of us: The way we’ll bend over backwards for someone else, but we won’t lift a hand for ourselves.  

(As a sidenote, this is utterly the opposite of what I grew up believing.  This is the opposite ailment of our souls.  It’s not that we’re selfish; it’s that we aren’t.)

In a manner of speaking.

Granted, it’s not like our bending-over-backwards is extended to “the whole world,” without regard.  It’s usually our families, friends, jobs, places of worship, community meetings, volunteer orgs…

But it’s certainly not extended to ourselves: the ones who (let’s face it) do have to actually be around (and, if I can be wildly greedy, NOT encumbered by self-doubt) in order to have a truly positive affect on our spouse/children/families/friends/clients/others.

And so Yoga is, as Amy Weintraub has said, “…about learning to build a new relationship with your body.”  Not just your physical body, but your mind, emotions, everything.  

Which doesn’t mean you start neglecting other people, or acting like an a- -.  (Sometimes we fail to do what’s good for us because we fear it will somehow hurl us into an abyss of selfish jerk-dom.)

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Rather, it means that you begin to pay attention.  

Maybe when you breathe, you notice the breath.  Maybe when you eat, you truly smell and taste the food.  When you lie on your living room carpet, you feel each part of your back body against the floor.  

(savasana)

Or when you stand in Mountain Pose, you feel the ground beneath your feet, the uplifting of your rib cage, the crown of your head pressing up.

(Mountain Pose)Maybe when you’ve been working for ten hours, you feel the fatigue (and maybe even rest!).  When you’ve been eating thirds and fourths, you feel that you’re full.  When you’re having a negative conversation, you feel its effects.  When you have a joyful encounter, you feel the joy fully.  When you love someone, you let it move you deeply.

(love)

(love)

Of course, maybe it means that you give yourself 90 minutes a couple times a week to truly be in your body, doing some Yoga and letting the practice sink in.  

Or that at night you take some deep breaths to soothe your nervous system, or, upon waking, maybe you breathe deeply while offering gratitude for a new day.  

Whatever it is, if you’re like me, it’s hard as h—.  

But not impossible.  

Perhaps we’ll teach each other.

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